Rushing Green Rivers By The Moonlight
by mauled by squirrels
Summary: I put my baby, my first ever HP fic on hiatus did i spell that right? NEwayz...she is my baby and i love her, so i won't take her out, even if no body likes her. it was a blast to write, but somehow i just lost inspiration...INSPIRATION! WHERE R U?
1. CHAPTER ONE

Rushing Green Rivers by the Moonlight  
  
Chapter One  
  
"What a day," Hermione sighed as she walked home from her Aunt Sophie's music store: Sully's Instruments and Other Musical Needs (Sully was Sophie's last name). It was the grand opening and she had been asked to help out. Hermione and some of her old muggle friends had gotten together for the opening and played live music to attract people. They would get together every summer to practice at least a couple songs since they had all gone to separate schools when they turned eleven. Kent, Mike, Faye, and her twin brother, Perry, were her best friends outside of Hogwarts.  
  
"'Oh no, Aunt Sof, it's okay, I don't need a ride home! You don't need to come and make sure no one broke into the house while I wasn't home! I'm a big girl! Almost sixteen!'" Hermione said mocking herself. Smacking her forehead with the hand that wasn't' carrying a guitar, she yelled, "WHY DIDN'T I TAKE THAT RIDE!" Hermione shivered as she slowly trudged trough her sleepy neighborhood.  
  
"HEY, SHUT THE HELL UP OUT THERE!" a voice screeched from one of the houses.  
  
Flustered, Hermione quickened her pace. When she arrived at her two-story house, the young witch gasped, nearly dropping her guitar. The lights were on! Normally that wouldn't be so surprising, but since her mother and father were away touring the U.S., Hermione had very good reasons to panic.  
  
'Okay, now I definitely regret not staying with Aunt Sophie!' Hermione thought as she tiptoed through her front hedges towards the window.  
  
She tentatively peeked through the glass to see who was there. Unfortunately, the trespasser was in the kitchen, and Hermione couldn't see into the room to find out if the lawbreakers were armed or not. Putting on a brave face, she silently proceeded to the back door.  
  
Crouching underneath the window in front of the kitchen sink so as not to be seen by potential attackers ("Who cares if I sound like Moody!"), Hermione pulled out her wand from the convenient little pocket in her guitar case and the cell phone from her pocket. Slowly she crept to the back door. It was cracked open. She could hear voices, but the curly haired girl couldn't quite figure out what they were saying.  
  
"Wonder when she'll get here." said a slightly familiar voice.  
  
'So they're expecting me, huh?' she thought, her face turning a bit pale. 'Well, Gryffindor doesn't have any sissies and mum never raised any dummies.' Hermione called the local police, informed them of the situation, and firmly grasped her wand.  
  
Hermione mustered up what courage she could, threw the door open, raised her wand, and yelled at the top her lungs, "All right! Watch out, I've called the police and if they're not here in time I can certainly blast you all out of my house!" Hermione looked around at the shocked intruders and gasped.  
  
"Sorry for the language, but holy shit on ice! What the hell are you doing breaking into my house and scaring me out of my wits!" Hermione exclaimed, nearly toppling over from the overwhelming feeling of surprise.  
  
Various members of the Order (Lupin, Moody, Tonks, Mr. Weasley, Charlie Weasley, Kingsley Shackebolt, and.introducing the newest members, the Weasley twins, Fred and George) and Harry began to laugh.  
  
"A friendly 'Hello' would've been nice, but no." George said rolling his eyes.  
  
"I thought I'd never see the day little miss-perfect-good-two-shoes would use swear words!" Fred chuckled.  
  
"Looks like a definite sign of the apocalypse!" Harry added.  
  
"Are you sure that you're the real Hermione?" Moody said giving Hermione a suspicious look. "Ask her something only the real Hermione would know!" Moody poked Harry on the shoulder with an old wizened finger.  
  
Harry thought for a moment and went over to Hermione and asked, "So, how did the real Hermione get to all her classes in her third year at Hogwarts?"  
  
"I, the real deal Hermione Gemma Granger, got to all my classes using a time turner. It took forever to convince the Ministry to let me use one." Hermione answered in that tone of voice she used whenever Harry and Ron couldn't figure out something obvious.  
  
"Yeah, it's her! I'd know that tone of voice anywhere!" Harry laughed. "She uses it whenever Ron and I can't figure out something that's totally obvious." Harry paused. "Though I never knew her middle name was Gemma," he added thoughtfully.  
  
Hermione rolled her eyes. "More like forgotten!" she snorted.  
  
"That's also a possibility," Harry had a mock thoughtful expression on his face. "I mean, I DO always seem to forget your birthday for some odd reason." You can bet that comment earned him a smack on the arm.  
  
After properly greeting everyone, Hermione, slightly blushing sighed. "You all know you scared me right?" Collapsing in a chair, she continued, "I mean I called the police for crying out loud.THE POLICE!" Hermione leaped out of the chair and raced to the front door. "Stay back here! And listen to what my excuse is just in case you all need to play along!" the frantic teen yelled over her shoulder.  
  
When she unlocked the front door, she found an officer in mid knock.  
  
"Hi, are you the girl who said someone had broken in to your house? Rockwell road, number 1515?" the portly man said.  
  
"Umm.yeah, about that." Hermione replied, smiling what her family and muggle friends called her "charming-her-way-out-of-trouble smile." "Well, you're going to hate me sir, but it turns out that some family and friends decided to throw me a surprise party for my birthday."  
  
'Good, Granger, nice quick thinking!' Hermione thought, mentally patting herself on the back. It wasn't her birthday. "Yup, I turned sixteen!"  
  
"Oh! Well then, if that's it," the officer said brightly. "Happy birthday then! Normally, I would've scolded someone for a false alarm, but.since it's your sweet sixteen. you're off the hook! But next time, you won't be so lucky!" The man in uniform chuckled as he walked back to his car.  
  
Hermione waved after the police car and closed the door. Walking back to the kitchen, she realized she'd left her guitar outside. "That was close." she mumbled.  
  
"Happy birthday." Harry said sarcastically. "Nice quick thinking though. Lucky that policeman was a prat."  
  
"It's time for the annual summer reunion of our little trio and everyone else in the wizarding world, isn't it?" Hermione said glancing over to Harry, ignoring his comment.  
  
"Yup," Moody growled. "So-"  
  
"So where's your stuff?" Tonks cut in.  
  
"Up in my room," Hermione replied. "Don't worry I'll get it just let me get something I left outside." She went out and then back in with the guitar. "My room's upstairs-"  
  
"Hey, Herms," Harry interrupted.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Since when did you have a pierced navel and a tattoo of a sun?"  
  
Hermione stopped in her tracks. She looked down and realized that her black tank top revealed a little strip of her stomach, just enough to flaunt her piercing and tattoo. She thought she'd show it off for the show that day at the music store. "Let's talk about that later," she said hastily.  
  
"BUSTED!" Fred, Harry, and George said in unison.  
  
"Granger's right," Moody said slightly smiling. "Now get your stuff and let's go! You're lucky that the signal hasn't come yet."  
  
"Right," Hermione said. She jogged up the stairs with Harry and the twins on her trail. They walked down the hall and into a room at the end, idly chatting, Hermione carefully avoiding the subject of her piercing and tattoo. "Well, here is my room."  
  
It was a fairly large room. The sky blue walls were covered with posters of bands, movies, and pictures of friends and family. An old piano was at the corner by some bookshelves. Various articles of clothing lay around the room. Her trunk was by her bed.  
  
"So, why are you here, Harry?" Hermione inquired.  
  
"The Order decided to pick you up on the way after getting me," Harry said.  
  
"But I'm miles and miles away from where you and the Dursleys live!"  
  
"Lucky you!" Harry grinned.  
  
"In any case," George said, "Moody liked the idea."  
  
"Said it could throw off anyone who was following us." Fred supplied.  
  
Hermione carefully placed her guitar in her trunk (it was magic; you could fit everything in it without running out o space). The twins hefted the trunk towards the door, and the quartet walked out the door.  
  
"Since when did you know how to play the guitar and piano?" Harry questioned.  
  
"Since I was five." Hermione answered.  
  
"And the tattoo and navel?" the twins said in unison. They had returned to the kitchen. Lupin shrank Hermione's trunk and stowed it in his pocket along with Harry's.  
  
"A story that will be told later." Hermione darkly said. "Oh wait! We're traveling by broom aren't we?"  
  
"Yup," Tonks said.  
  
"There's the signal!" Kingsley said.  
  
Hermione ran upstairs and came back with a broom while the rest of her friends filed out into her backyard. Hermione locked up and the group took off.  
  
"Hey, Herms?" Harry asked. "Where's Crookshanks?"  
  
"He died." A pang of sadness went through Hermione's heart.  
  
"Sorry."  
  
"Not your fault, he was old and I guess his time ran out." Crookshanks died a few weeks ago. He was buried in the yard next to the geraniums.  
  
Hermione glanced at Harry. 'He's changed.' she thought. 'He looks good. I bet all he'll have to beat the girls off everyday. Grr. Why do I have to like my best friend? WHY?' Little did she know, a certain raven-haired boy was thinking along the same lines about her.  
  
'She really changed didn't she?' Harry thought, gazing at Hermione. Sure, Harry had told Hermione last year that he didn't think she was ugly, but when he took the time to notice that one of his best friends was a girl, he realized that she was actually quite pretty. 'Okay, scratch that, she's gorgeous.' Harry smiled dreamily. 'No wonder Cho got jealous.'  
  
"So, I didn't think it was possible, but you can fly okay Hermione." Fred said.  
  
"Thanks I guess," Hermione rolled her eyes and chuckled, "It's one thing I learned from dating a quidditch player. Though, I don't think I'll be playing professional quiditch anytime soon, but I can at least get myself from points A to B without falling."  
  
"What's this about a pro-quidditch player?" Tonks inquired.  
  
"Hermione caught the eye of Victor Krum in her fourth year," Harry answered for his friend. "It was mentioned in an article Rita Skeeter wrote. She made everyone think she was two timing me and him." Harry finished darkly. For some reason unknown to him, he felt bad for remembering how the older quidditch player had an interest in his friend. 'I mean, I was there first wasn't I?' the young wizard thought, quickly mentally slapping himself afterward. 'I don't think I should be thinking that about my friend!'  
  
"I hate her, very very much" Hermione's eye twitched.  
  
"Oh, hahaha!" Tonks chuckled, "I remember Molly telling me about that! She said she was glad when the whole thing was sorted out; she hated to think you were a.what did she call a slag again? You know, a slut?"  
  
Hermione glared at the memory of that horrible ordeal from fourth year. "You mean, a scarlet woman?" Hermione sniffed.  
  
"Exactly!" Tonks laughed.  
  
"Now about the tattoo and piercing." Harry said.  
  
"Yes, didn't think 'Miss stick to the rules' would actually do that to herself." Lupin added.  
  
"Are they real?" Tonks asked. "I agree with Lupin. It's very hard news to believe."  
  
Hermione tugged at the belly button ring. "Do fake ones do this?"  
  
Tonks winced as she watched the younger witch's skin around her belly button move with the piercing.  
  
"You'd better not let Molly see those," Mr. Weasley advised. "She might ban you from seeing our children in attempts to keep you from influencing them into doing things they'll regret."  
  
"I think it's too late for that!" Harry and Hermione said at the same time. They looked at each other and began to crack up. Soon enough, everyone had joined in.  
  
After, the laughter had died down, yet again, Harry posed the question as to how Hermione got the previously mentioned tattoo and piercing.  
  
"Please don't make me say it!" Hermione whined.  
  
"Now we have to hear it!" Tonks exclaimed.  
  
"Well, I don't know if you'll believe me but... when I was fourteen, I went to this party with some muggle friends of mine. The drinks at the party were . uhh . spiked . and well, I, uhh, got drunk. I didn't know until it was too late." Hermione hung her head down.  
  
"HAHAHA! No way!" the twins shouted in unison. They almost fell off their brooms laughing.  
  
"Yes way. Not only did I get out of that night with a hole in my body and a picture permanently stuck to it too, but half the muggle teen population of Great Britain knows me as 'that girl who was dancing on the tables with a lampshade on her head'." Hermione said sarcastically. "And could you all not tell anyone about this? My parents don't know about it and I'd rather them not know. Plus the story is absolutely mortifying to remember."  
  
"I still can't believe it." Harry stated, thoroughly amused. He tried picturing Hermione drunk. He started to laugh uncontrollably. "I mean, wouldn't the people that pierced you and gave you the tattoo notice you were underage?"  
  
"Well, the guy who ran the place, Joe of Joe's Tattoos and Piercings, I don't think he noticed. He was kind of an idiot. I mean, my friends forced me to get all dressed up because our band was performing at that party, and. I dunno. I guess I looked older. Plus I was drunk, and I guess that since I was drunk, he figured I was old enough since minors aren't allowed to drink I suppose." Hermione answered, pondering the workings of the mind of the owner of the tattoo and piercing parlor. "And anyway, I was drunk. and my friends. amazing I can still find it in me to call them that. either they were distracted by someone of the opposite sex or drunk as well.maybe both.I don't know. So, I couldn't very well make a good decision, and I didn't have anyone to help me make a good decision."  
  
"Hey, maybe we should've gotten drunk that year the Triwizard Tournament to fool the Goblet of Fire." George said laughing.  
  
"Shut. Up." Hermione huffed. "At least when ever I mention the stupid things, my friends always regret roping me into going to that party."  
  
"You do know you could've just gotten it removed," Harry said matter-of- factly.  
  
"And you do know you sounded exactly like Hermione just then," George said mimicking Harry. "I mean the one that goes to Hogwarts and is a stickler for the rules, not the one who gets drunk and dances on tables!" Everyone laughed.  
  
"Not funny," Hermione growled. "And in response to your question, 1) removing things like tattoos costs money that I don't have, and as I mentioned earlier, my parents don't know about the tattoo and piercing and I'd like to keep it that way; 2) I guess.I-I've grown accustomed to them." the curly-haired witch trailed off, slightly blushing.  
  
"I guess the surprises are never-ending tonight." Harry grinned at Hermione.  
  
"Suppose so. I've been keeping it a secret for a while now. I do feel strangely.liberated now that you all know.don't know how to explain that."  
  
"Why keep it a secret?"  
  
"Because I knew you wouldn't believe me, at least not right away, which would then lead me into giving you all the painfully embarrassing yet true story of how I got them."  
  
"You've got a point."  
  
"I always do."  
  
"You can't be the Hermione I go to school with!" Harry shook his head, impishly grinning.  
  
"The scary thing is that yes, I am. My Aunt Sophie says that everyone isn't just one thing, like a jock or, in my case, a brain; there's always more to a person than what you know about him or her. It's just that my reputation as a book-loving-brain precedes me wherever I go, so everyone thinks that I'm nothing more than a walking textbook." Hermione said matter- of-factly. "Besides, someone has to worry when you and Ron don't, you know!"  
  
"So," Tonks cut in. "You were performing at that party, huh? And I'm not talking about your dance routine with the lamp shade."  
  
Hermione laughed. "Yup," Hermione replied. "Every summer, my old muggle friends and I get together and just kind of play music. We're like this temporary little rock band. It's really fun. And we all love it since we all go to different schools. It's our little bonding thing."  
  
"Will wonders, never cease," Harry said, "Hermione knows what fun is!"  
  
"Of course I know what fun is, stupid!" Hermione said indignantly. "I know a ton of things, thank you very much!"  
  
"I should hope so with all the studying that you do," Harry teased.  
  
"I hate you all!" Hermione pouted. "This is the sort of so-called-harmless- teasing that caused those muggle kids in America to go bloody nuts and kill everyone in their schools with guns and bombs!"  
  
"What's a gun?" Mr. Weasley asked, his curiosity for muggles resurfacing. "And did they really go crazy?"  
  
"Never mind."  
  
"Get ready to land!" Moody barked.  
  
The group flew through the clouds and soon Grimauled Place came into view. They landed on the front lawn and entered the front door. It was just as Harry and Hermione had left it since last summer the day they'd left for their fifth year. They could hear the obscene ravings of the portrait of Sirius's mother and rapid footsteps coming from the next room.  
  
"Hi Harry! Hermione!"  
  
Ron, Ginny, Sirius (as it turned out, the veil in the Death Room of the Department of Mysteries was out of order; someone had forgotten to post a sign saying so. As soon as the coast was clear, Sirius was able to crawl out from behind the veil and apperate back to home), and Mrs. Weasley came out to greet Harry and Hermione. They all hugged and chattered greetings, Harry noticing Hermione tugging at her shirt to cover the infamous tattoo and piercing. He grinned and Hermione smiled back shrugging her shoulders.  
  
"Oh look at you both!" Mrs. Weasley squealed. "They're growing up so fast! Harry, such a fine young man!"  
  
"Eww.spare us the puberty talk, mum!" George yelled, absolutely disgusted.  
  
"As I was saying," Mrs. Weasley continued, trying to ignoring George's comment (keyword: trying; she ultimately whacked her son on the arm), "Hermione look at you! You're gorgeous!"  
  
Suddenly, Hermione's sneakers seemed to be the most interesting things in the world. "Err. thanks?" She was the color of a tomato.  
  
"HAHAHA!" Sirius guffawed. "You're making Hermione's face resemble a tomato, Molly!"  
  
"Mum's right though," Ginny agreed. "You're hair looks great! And I love the outfit change! Much better than the granny clothes you usually wear! No offense though," the youngest Weasley added quickly.  
  
Hermione's face turned a darker shade of red. " None taken. And thanks, but they're just jeans and a plain old shirt."  
  
Hermione's hair was no longer the frizzy puffball it used to be. It was tamed into soft and shiny lose curls, now currently pulled back into a ponytail with pieces framing her face. As for her clothes, they were just simple jeans and a black tank top. They fitted her well though, the pants kind of bagged a little at her feet, but it worked for her.  
  
"Careful Hermione," Ron suggested, "you might burn a hole right through your shoes with the way you're concentrating on them."  
  
"Can we not talk about me anymore!" Hermione demanded. Her face turned darker.  
  
"Now you know how I feel!" Harry said, still widely grinning.  
  
"Look! She's near purple now!" said Sirius. He, Harry, Ron, Ginny, and the twins broke out into peals of laughter. Hermione covered her face with her hands, absolutely mortified.  
  
"Like I said before," Hermione said now through her fingers, "I hate you all!"  
  
Everyone was laughing now, and soon enough, even Hermione. "At least they haven't noticed your stomach!" Tonks said. When she'd realized the meaning of her words, Tonks quickly slapped her hand over her mouth. "I'm sorry Hermione!"  
  
Mrs. Weasley, Sirius, Ron, and Ginny cast inquisitive glances at Hermione.  
  
"TONKS!" Hermione screeched.  
  
"What about her stomach?" Ron queried.  
  
"Yeah," Ginny said, equally curious. "What about it?"  
  
"Later." Hermione said, slightly panicking.  
  
Seeing that Hermione was now officially purple from embarrassment, Harry came to the rescue. "Yeah, it's a long story."  
  
"Right then," Mrs. Weasley said after a few awkward moments of silence (Hermione was nervously fidgeting while determinedly starring at her shoes while Harry, Fred, and George were suppressing laughter and a few members cracked smiles). "Why don't we all go into the kitchen and get something to eat."  
  
"G-great idea!" Hermione stuttered. "I'm starved!" As they all headed to the kitchen, Hermione whispered to Harry, "Thanks."  
  
"No problem." Harry whispered back.  
  
Their eyes were locked, and both could feel something there; they just couldn't figure out what. They didn't notice that they were slowing their pace and inching closer together. Now who knows what could've happened; maybe they could've kissed, no one really knows. Before they could get any closer, Harry crashed into the wall by the kitchen doorway.  
  
"Ouch!" Harry grabbed his head.  
  
"Hahaha!" Hermione slowly turned back to her normal color as she laughed at her friend. "Are you okay?" Hermione asked when her laughter died down a bit.  
  
"Yeah.very embarrassed though." Harry replied, rubbing his forehead.  
  
"Now you know how I feel!" Hermione snickered. The two friends walked into the kitchen laughing.  
  
"What was so funny?" Ron asked.  
  
"Harry ran into the doorway." Hermione answered happily. "It was very funny. You all should've seen it. I wish I had a camera! Where's Colin Creevy when you need him?" Hermione snapped her fingers.  
  
"Will you be quiet, Hermione?" Harry hissed.  
  
"No! You all embarrassed me tonight, so I only think this is fair!" Hermione told him defiantly.  
  
"Sorry, mate," Fred said shaking his head. "She's got a point."  
  
"Yeah, Harry," Hermione giggled, looking at Harry. "I don't think any amount of therapy could ever repair the emotional damage that was done tonight."  
  
"Are you talking about mine or yours?" Harry asked Hermione.  
  
"Mine of course!" Hermione replied. "I've had it worse!" She looked at Sirius, Mrs. Weasley, Ron, and Ginny. "Everyone was making fun of me the whole way here!"  
  
Hermione and Harry took seats next to each other at the table while everyone laughed at the mental picture of Harry crashing into the wall in their heads.  
  
"I hate you all." Harry muttered.  
  
"You stole my line," Hermione mock-whined, playfully slapping Harry's arm.  
  
"Once again," Harry said, "Shut. Up."  
  
"That's another one of my lines as well. And see," Hermione said as though she was saying "I told you so!" "It's not nice when people make fun of you is it?"  
  
"Yeah, yeah, I get your point." Harry muttered, still quite embarrassed by his little accident with the wall.  
  
"I knew you would!" she cooed reaching over and pinching Harry's face. Hermione looked at Sirius and said, "Your godson's a real quick one, he is!"  
  
Everyone laughed. Harry glowered. He looked over at Hermione and softened his glowering. 'She looks so pretty when she laughs. No wonder I got distracted while we were walking to the kitchen. I think I'm starting to fall for her.' Harry thought. 'That would never work now, would it?' Harry continued to stare, not noticing people noticing his one way staring contest with Hermione. 'Okay, that doesn't matter, she's gorgeous!'  
  
"Ooh." Tonks whispered to Sirius and Lupin, "Look at Harry stare at Hermione." She gave a soft whistle. "Looks like someone's going to fall for Hermione!" Tonks whispered in a sing song voice.  
  
"He looks dazed." Sirius and Lupin said together.  
  
When the laughter died down, Hermione FINALLY noticed Harry staring at her.  
  
"What?" Hermione questioned. "Do I have something sticking out of my nose or something?" Hermione reached for a napkin with one hand and covered her nose with the other.  
  
"Urgh." was the only nose Harry made.  
  
"Can someone switch seats with me?" Hermione said feigning fear, leaning away from Harry. Everyone chortled.  
  
"Urgh." was the only noise Harry made. Drool slowly trailed out of his mouth.  
  
"Okaaay." Hermione said uncertainly. "Can I go sleep now? I'm dead tired," Hermione said, turning to Mrs. Weasley.  
  
"Sure thing." Mrs. Weasley led Hermione up the stairs, Ginny tagging along for some girl talk with Hermione.  
  
"Look, everyone," Ron said, "Harry's starting to drool!" This, of course, made everyone laugh. Which, of course, made Harry come out of his trance.  
  
"What?" Harry shouted. "What happened?"  
  
Sirius chuckled, "Nothing kido, nothing."  
  
"Oh no! I'm drooling!"  
  
'If I've thought it before, I'll think it again,' Hermione said in her head, 'Harry's really changed, and for the better! Harry isn't that malnourished eleven-year-old I had met on the train for my first year at Hogwarts. He was tall now, not as tall as any of the Weasley boys, but still tall. Harry had really grown into his looks. The funky, wild hair he had been trying to tame since birth really suits him, and his eyes are a magnificent shade of green.' Hermione absolutely hated to admit it, but she was starting to sound like all those daft Harry Potter fanatics and boy crazy girls. Now that really scared the crap out of and right back in Hermione.  
  
"Please don't let me become like Lavender and Parvati!" Hermione thought out loud. "Dear God, anything but that!"  
  
"What was that Hermione?" Ginny asked. "I didn't quite hear you."  
  
"Oh," Hermione said, blushing for what must've been the millionth time that night. "It was nothing."  
  
"Uh-huh," Ginny said skeptically. The pair of girls was sharing a room together, not that they minded of course. Over the years, the two had become very good friends. Besides, if you spend most of your life around boys like those two, you really get to appreciate the company of another female once in a while.okay, more than once in a while. "So," Ginny began with an air of mischief similar to one who is playing matchmaker for a friend. "Did you notice the way Harry was looking at you?" she inquired Hermione.  
  
"Umm." Hermione stammered starring at her feet for the umpteenth time. "I k-kind of thought. that m-maybe. there was something sticking out of my nose or something."  
  
"Hermione," Ginny said, slightly exasperated. "You don't recognize your own beauty do you?"  
  
"Huh?" Hermione was confused. "What are you getting at, Ginny?"  
  
"I mean, you haven't noticed that Harry's got the hots for you?" Ginny remarked incredulously.  
  
"He what?" Hermione shouted. This thoroughly surprised her. Not that she wasn't pleased to hear the news. but what if Ginny was wrong?  
  
"Gee," Ginny chortled, grinning like mad and rolling her eyes. "And to think you're the smartest witch in all of Hogwarts!"  
  
"Hey!" Hermione said piqued. "I'm not stupid! I just don't know how to deal with things like love and crap when it involves me! Other people, yes. Me, no!"  
  
Ginny laughed. "Okay, okay!" Ginny now looked thoughtful. "I really think he likes you though. Just think, Hermione!" Ginny said, excited. "Your first real boyfriend!" Before Hermione could respond, Ginny quickly added, "No, your little fling with Victor Krum doesn't count! You even said it yourself, you didn't really like as more than a friend!"  
  
"Okay, fine."  
  
Hermione lay down on her bed. Ginny followed suit.  
  
"So," Ginny giggled, "Do you like him?"  
  
"Err." Hermione thought hard. "I.think.that.maybe."  
  
"Yes, yes, go on!" Ginny insisted.  
  
"I do," Hermione announced, her face matching Ginny's hair. "Don't tell anyone!"  
  
"This like my favorite novel, Rushing Green Rivers by the Moonlight!" Ginny squealed. "Where the spunky dragon tamer, Mary Margaret Lily Jones, falls head over heals for her best friend, Guy River James Lee Park, the handsome herbologist."  
  
"Ginny! Shh! Someone might hear!"  
  
"Sorry." Ginny apologized. "So, how long?"  
  
"I think since our fifth year.or maybe it was just then that I had realized my true feelings. I dunno.I guess I've always had a soft spot for him." Hermione guessed.  
  
"Wow!" Ginny was amazed. "How could you hide it? Especially when he was dating Cho? I mean, he even asked you for help!"  
  
"I hate to sound conceited," Hermione lightly blushed, "but I'm a pretty good actress, if I do say so myself. I mean, I fooled that cow Umbridge into thinking that Dumbledoor was hiding some secret weapon in the Forbidden Forest last year, didn't I?"  
  
Ginny snickered. "Yeah! Fantastic performance! You gave us all a chance to escape!"  
  
"Thanks! And that was when I didn't know how to fake tears!" Hermione winked.  
  
"Can you do that?" Ginny inquired, leaning forward with excitement. "If so, can you teach me? It would be dead useful against my brothers!"  
  
"Sure!" Hermione looked away. "Any ways," Hermione continued, her voice hinting heartbreak. "We're just friends. He probably likes us that way." Hermione began to rattle off reasons of why Harry would never like her, bringing up incidents like the Firebolt one from third year where she thoroughly pissed him off. "I mean, even if we do decide to date, what if we break up? Would we still be friends?" Hermione feared. "Don't get me wrong.it'd be great if one day he comes up to me and professes his undying love (Ginny started to giggle madly), but if we break up and he hates me. the whole thing would mean losing all forms of relationships, romantic and friendly. So. maybe it wouldn't be worth it."  
  
"Ugh!" Ginny wailed. The red haired girl slapped her forehead. "I've listened to you long enough!" Ginny grabbed her friend's hand and led her to the mirror.  
  
"You are beautiful and smart and kind and you've got enough room in your heart to care for everyone in the entire world! Magic or muggle! Harry would love you to death forever and ever!" Ginny forced Hermione to look in the mirror. "Even if it didn't workout, he'd be crazy to give you up as a friend. Besides you never know if you don't try. Any ways, what kind of boy would ever refuse you?"  
  
"Malfoy, every other Slytherin male, not to mention a few others I've pissed off before who are in different houses or don't even go to Hogwarts, who, might I add, shall remain nameless." Hermione commented grinning.  
  
"Malfoy doesn't count as a boy!" Ginny laughed.  
  
"He doesn't even count as a human!"  
  
The two girls laughed, staggering to their beds and falling into the covers. Once their laughter died down, Ginny spoke, "So what was up with that thing and Tonks earlier that was a quote unquote, 'Long story'?"  
  
Hermione explained about her tattoo, piercing, and how it happened. When Ginny didn't believe it, Hermione showed her and tugged at the piercing.  
  
"Oh my gosh!" Ginny gasped, "It's true!"  
  
"Yeah," Hermione mumbled.  
  
"That is so cool!" Ginny shrieked.  
  
"Thanks," Hermione replied.  
  
"It also makes for a great story!" Ginny mentioned. "Will you play me a song sometime? I'd love to hear one!"  
  
"Sure, but don't laugh if I play you something I wrote myself." Hermione agreed. "So, back on the relationship front, what's up with you and Dean?"  
  
Ginny blushed and got starry eyed. "It's wonderful! We love each other to pieces! He is so sweet and we can't wait to be together again!" Ginny was genuinely head over heals for Dean, Hermione could just see it in her eyes.  
  
"That's great!" Hermione cried happily. "I'm happy for you."  
  
"But," Ginny continued, rolling her eyes.  
  
"But," Hermione continued. "If he ever hurts you, you can always count on me to help beat him up!" The two girls grinned at each other.  
  
"You sound like my brothers!"  
  
"Great, talk about depressing!"  
  
The girls laughed.  
  
"Any ways, I doubt that will happen, Dean's such a sweet heart," Ginny giggled, "but I don't doubt your ability to beat people up! You're smart, and people don't really seem to connect that trait to power."  
  
"True, true," Hermione acknowledged.  
  
"If you're smart, it means you know loads of spells! So you'd have no problem kicking butt!" Ginny noted.  
  
"Like the old saying goes: 'knowledge is power'!"  
  
The girls were ready to sleep when there was a soft knock on the door.  
  
"Come in!"  
  
Harry, Ron, Tonks, Sirius, Mrs. Weasley, Fred, and George all crowded into the room. Harry, Tonks, Fred, and George all looked guilty, Sirius looked amused, Mrs. Weasley, scandalized, and Ron was a mix of amusement, being scandalized, and disbelief.  
  
"What are you all doing here?" was what Hermione was going to ask, but the twins cut her off.  
  
"We didn't tell them anything Hermione!" Fred and George chorused sitting on Ginny's bed.  
  
"Neither did I" Harry said sitting at the foot of Hermione's bed. She didn't notice him eyeing her out of the corner of his eye (her pajamas were composed of tank top and baggy plaid pajama pants).  
  
"Sorry Hermione." was all Tonks said.  
  
"You little prat!" Ron said thoroughly amused.  
  
"Excuse me, Ron, but don't you think everyone's made fun of me enough already?" Hermione pleaded. "Wait till tomorrow to insult me!"  
  
"He was talking about me," Harry explained. "They've.uhh.found out about your little secret, and they don't really believe me or the others." Harry pointed to her stomach.  
  
"Oh. that explains it, carry on then insulting Harry!" Hermione joked. Harry mock glared.  
  
"Hermione, tell Tonks, Harry, Fred and George that you don't have a tattoo." Ron said looking at the previously mentioned people like they were all nuts. "I mean, you're like Ginny to me, and I know she would never get one of those!"  
  
"Don't forget the piercing!" Sirius said, equally amused.  
  
"I'm sorry!" Tonks pleaded. "They dragged it out of me!"  
  
"Hermione!" Mrs. Weasley began, "I know you would never get yourself drunk at such a young age! You're the only good example that's left for my Ginny!"  
  
Mrs. Weasley looked at Hermione with such hope, but the young witch could never lie to someone she cared about.  
  
"I.I."Hermione sputtered. "I think I'm gonna cry!" Hermione wailed. She shoved her head in to her pillow and pulled it back out again. "That's so sweet, Mrs. Weasley! And now I feel so guilty!"  
  
"Okay," Sirius said, "It's true!"  
  
"No way!" Ron laughed.  
  
"That's what your brother said." Hermione mumbled, her head was once again shoved into a pillow. She took her head out again and lifted her pajama shirt a little to reveal the sun tattoo peeking out over her pants and pierced navel.  
  
The reactions were basically Ron and Sirius gaping at Hermione and then laughing and Mrs. Weasley almost fainting.  
  
"I feel betrayed," Mrs. Weasley whispered clutching her heart.  
  
"Oh no! I've killed her!" Hermione cried.  
  
This made everyone laugh; especially since Hermione looked serious about making the Weasley family matriarch kick the can.  
  
"Don't worry, Hermione," Harry reassured her between his HAHAHA's. "I'm sure it takes a lot more to kill Mrs. Weasley!"  
  
Before Mrs. Weasley could being to lecture Hermione on underage drinking, Hermione quickly retold her story of that night for the third time. "I honestly didn't know the drinks were spiked, and I've really, truly, honestly learned my lesson!" Hermione pleaded. "Believe me waking up to the pain of a hangover, a new tattoo, and a pierced navel is not something I want to wake up to ever again!"  
  
Once Mrs. Weasley had accepted Hermione's account ("I know your still a great girl, I just know it! Promise you'll never do it again!"), Ginny and Hermione were finally able to get to sleep.  
  
"Did you notice how Harry ogled at you in your pajamas?"  
  
"Shut. Up. Ginny!"  
  
"So, what's with you and Hermione? You've been staring at her the entire night." Ron observed. The boys were in their room trying to get to sleep. It would be easier to if Sirius and the twins weren't there. The twins liked to bug people, and Sirius, who also liked to bug people, wanted to ask his godson the same question as Ron, except in a more subtle way. That and he had missed his favorite (and only) godson.  
  
"You were drooling at the kitchen table. Face it, you love her!" Sirius agreed. So much for subtle.  
  
"I was not!" Harry denied.  
  
"Yes you were!" the twins claimed.  
  
"Okay.fine!" Harry huffed. "I was, but it was because.because." Harry racked his brain for a proper and believable pretense for starring at his best friend. No! Not Ron, eww! Hermione, silly!  
  
"Yes." everyone leaned in towards Harry.  
  
"Because."  
  
'C'mon, Potter, think!' Harry mentally scolded himself. 'Aha! I've got it!'  
  
"Because." Harry nervously stated, "She had something sticking out of her nose!"  
  
"See, Ginny! I told you so! There really was something sticking out of my nose!"  
  
Everyone turned to the doorway. There stood Hermione in Ginny (their room was next door). Hermione now had a sweater on to the protests of Ginny ("Harry loves you, I'm sure of it!" Ginny persisted. "Gee, you must have a brain like your Ron's to think that!" Hermione argued).  
  
"You should have told me, Harry!" Hermione complained, rubbing her nose. "Do you have any tissues?"  
  
"Sure." Harry was blushing as he handed her the box of tissues.  
  
"What are you two doing up?" Ron queried.  
  
"Couldn't sleep." Ginny explained.  
  
"Actually, Ginny couldn't, I, however, could." Hermione yawned. "She forced me out of bed because she was tired of being the only girl in these conversations." Hermione sat cross-legged on the floor and leaned against Harry's bed. "You'd think she'd be used to it by now, you know? What, with all her brothers." Everyone laughed.  
  
"Shut up!" Ginny giggled.  
  
"Gee.I must be getting pretty popular if people are starting to copy things I say!" Hermione chuckled, grabbing one of the extra pillows off the foot of Harry's bed.  
  
Everyone except the groggy Hermione turned and looked at Harry. 'It's love!' Sirius mouthed. Harry ignored it, feigned anger and said, "That's mine you know!"  
  
"I know," Hermione sleepily responded giving her crush a lazy grin (he blushed of course!), "I'm just too tired to care." She hugged the pillow, putting her head against it and closed her eyes. The girl was out cold in five minutes.  
  
"I think, she's asleep," Ron whispered.  
  
"What'll we do?" Harry asked nervously. "We can't wake her!"  
  
"Maybe we can just leave her there?" Ginny suggested. It was a feeble attempt to get Harry and Hermione together. 'Ugh! I think Hermione was right about my brain being like Ron's!' she thought.  
  
"That might not be such a good idea." Sirius stated. "Seeing as how Harry's in love with her.he might try something.not good."  
  
"Sirius!" Harry exclaimed. "I am not!"  
  
"No, no! We agree with Sirius!" said the Weasley children.  
  
Harry quickly turned red. "What are you all thinking?" Harry demanded. "That I'm head over heals for Hermione?"  
  
Everyone besides the sleeping Hermione nodded. She just gave a little snort and said, "The cheese is getting mauled by squirrels!" and continued to cruise through dreamland.  
  
"Fine!" Harry stormed. He stopped suddenly when Hermione moved to scratch a spot on her arm. Nope, he didn't wake her; she was still knocked out.  
  
"'Fine' as in you admit to liking her?" Ron probed. "'That's mine you know!'" Ron shook his head, mocking his best friend.  
  
"Denial isn't just a river in Egypt, you know!" Fred and George sang in unison.  
  
Harry turned purple.  
  
"Just admit it and we'll all leave." Sirius calmly urged. His voice might've been calm but his face was all aglow with excitement (What's wrong with him?). It was very similar to the looks that a teenage girl would give to her best friend when they're finally admitting to liking someone (Ahh.so Harry's godfather is turning into a godmother, I get it).  
  
"Ergh! Oh, all right!" Harry gave in. "I think I actually am starting to like her.as more than a friend." He hung his head low. Ginny was about to say something, but she quickly remembered her talk with Hermione and shut her mouth. Plus, Sirius and Ron were shoving them all out of the room and they didn't leave much time for more chitchat.  
  
"What about Hermione?" Fred and George asked.  
  
"We'll wrap her in a blanket and leave her!" Ron answered casting a sly look at Harry. His best friend glared.  
  
'Everyone is against me!' Harry thought.  
  
When only the trio of friends and Sirius were left, Sirius commented, "Harry, I think you should tell Hermione of how you feel." Harry looked at him like it was the first time he ever met his godfather. "Oh, come on like you didn't see that coming!" Sirius continued, rolling his eyes. "Any way, if you don't get her now, you might never get another chance!"  
  
All Harry could do was nod.  
  
"Goodnight boys!" Sirius smiled.  
  
Ron climbed back to bed and Harry, still contemplating his feelings, Sirius's advice, and Hermione, covered his female best friend (for now, any ways) with an extra blanket. As he fell asleep, he thought of all the reasons why they could never be together as more than friends, but they all seemed absurd compared to the one shining reason that they should be together: Harry was crazy for his best friend, and again, no, he's not talking about Ron!  
  
The next morning, Hermione woke up all alone in the bedroom. Harry and Ron's beds were already made and she could hear the clinking of dishes downstairs. She assumed that breakfast was almost done since she could hear Mrs. Weasley scolding Ron for trying to sneak a bite (:::slap!::: "Ouch, mum!" "Wait until it's done like everyone else, Ronald!"). Hermione got up and stretched.  
  
"I can't believe they left me on the floor like that!" Hermione grumbled. "Now I have this awful crick in my neck!"  
  
The young witch folded up the blanket and placed it and the pillow on Harry's bed. She then left her best friends' room and to her and Ginny's to change. Once in her own room, she got some clothes and headed for the bathroom for a quick shower. Unfortunately, when she had finished, dried off, and gotten dressed, she had just realized that there was something else in the bathroom with her. A very large and scary something else.  
  
"AHHHHHHHHHH!" Hermione shrieked. She dashed out of the bathroom as fast as she could and got her wand from on top of the dresser at the far corner of the room.  
  
Too bad this creature from the guest bathroom had long slimy tentacles, and those very tentacles were quickly slithering their way to the curly haired witch. They knocked over the beds, lamps, chairs, and anything else that stood in the way of breakfast. It even threw things at Hermione, missing many shots; the ones that hit, however, would leave huge bruises on our young heroine.  
  
"HELP ME! SOMEBODY, HELP!" Hermione wailed as she leapt on top of the dresser in attempts to escape the awful creatures wriggling appendages; the hideous beast had her cornered. She racked her brain for information stored away as to what the creature and its weakness was until she finally found what she was looking for in the great filing cabinet of her mind.  
  
The monster from the girl's bathroom was a Shanggrilisarra, a huge slimy black cow shaped creature with ghostly orbs for eyes and dozens of tentacles instead of legs. They couldn't survive freezing temperatures. These beings could change their original form (size, color, etc.) at will to hide anywhere they wished in order to catch a meal. Apparently, this particular Shanggrilisarra had a hankering for witch.  
  
'That's nice but how do I get myself out of here?' Hermione thought. Suddenly, answer it her like a ton of bricks. 'Geez, why didn't I see it before? I'm such an idiot!' she chided herself as she used a shielding charm to keep the tentacles at bay.  
  
"MOOOOO!" the hideous beast cried like the mutated cow it resembled. It opened its mouth, showing off rows and rows of sharp yellow teeth, expelling breath so bad it nearly knocked Hermione off the dresser.  
  
Hermione raised her wand and shouted, "Freezamorem!"  
  
The Shanggrilisarra stopped dead in its tracks as its body quickly turned into ice. Hermione carefully descended the dresser and climbed over and under the monster's many tentacles to get to the door. She was almost out when she heard footsteps coming. Hermione turned her head to the door and saw Harry, Ron, the twins, Sirius, Moody, Tonks, and Lupin (Mr. Weasley had to leave for work and Mrs. Weasley was with Ginny in the kitchen preparing breakfast) skidding to a halt in front of the door. They all gaped at the size of the frozen creature.  
  
'And as usual, the cavalry is late.' Hermione thought. Now, you can't really blame them; they could barely hear her screams from all the way downstairs.  
  
"I would say 'Good morning,' but personally, I don't see what's so good about it." Hermione grunted as she tried to squeeze through a pair of especially large tentacles. "This tough guy was still living in the bathroom. Gave me a real fright when I got out of the shower." Hermione jumped over the last few tentacles.  
  
"You all right, Granger?" Moody spoke.  
  
"If you forget the fact that I was almost made into breakfast by that monster," Hermione replied sarcastically (Harry, Ron, and the twins held back peals of laughter), "then, yeah, I'm okay. Traumatized, but I've had worse." She looked over at Harry and Ron and grinned; they knew she was talking about their little misadventures at Hogwarts.  
  
"Whoa! What was that?" Harry, the twins, and Ron exclaimed when they took their attention off Hermione and on the huge beast behind her.  
  
"A Shanggrilisarra." Hermione answered. She quickly reeled off the text book definition of the creature, ending with, "As you can see, it cannot stand extreme cold temperatures."  
  
"I'm not surprised that you knew what it was and how to deal with it," Lupin chuckled.  
  
"I agree!" Sirius laughed. "You kids go back down for breakfast. We adults can take care of this!"  
  
"So you did that all by yourself?" Fred and George asked when the five teenagers left the disheveled room.  
  
"Well, it's not like any of you were there to help me," Hermione pointed out, descending the stairs.  
  
"Sorry for not being there," Harry apologized.  
  
"That was wicked how you got it all frozen and everything, though." Ron added.  
  
"Well, thanks." Hermione turned to Harry. "And you don't need to apologize, I got out of it okay by myself."  
  
"But still." Harry trailed. He felt horrible that he wasn't there to help save his crush from the unpleasant jaws of death, but he wasn't about to let her know about the crush part. Not yet any way.  
  
"Don't worry about it! I'm fine now!" Hermione insisted.  
  
Harry gave her a warm smile that said, "I'm so glad you're still alive" and a quick hug before Hermione had any time to react. 'What the HELL did I just do? She probably thinks I'm acting like an idiot now! I'm way too obvious with my stupid feelings! I mean, I NEVER used to hug her unless she hugged me first; and that was always JUST a FRIEND THING!'  
  
While Harry was scolding himself, Hermione blushed, asking herself, 'Did he really just do that?'  
  
When the five reached the kitchen, Mrs. Weasley and Ginny rushed over to see if Hermione was all right. By the time they were done fussing over her, Sirius, Tonks, Moody, and Lupin were already joining everyone at the kitchen table. Mrs. Weasley got Hermione a mug of hot cocoa and Hermione told them of her little battle with the Shanggrilisarra over breakfast.  
  
"It's a wonder you got out of that without a single scratch!" Mrs. Weasley shook her head at Hermione.  
  
"I don't know about that," Hermione said thinking back to the objects that were flung at her by the beast of the bathroom. "It threw stuff at me.granted it had bad aim, but the ones that did get me.well, I'll probably still be able to feel them even after a month."  
  
"I'm really glad you're okay," Harry said smiling at her. "I couldn't live if you had died." everyone's favorite wizard stated without thinking, hence slapping his hand over his mouth.  
  
Ron, who was sitting on Harry's left nudged Harry with his elbow and received a kick under the table. Everyone else just smirked at Harry, while Hermione just blushed.  
  
"Yeah, I'm glad you're glad, I mean, no!" Hermione sputtered. "No! I don't know! No! I know! What I mean is, I'm. happy. I'm. alive. yes. happy.very happy. happeeeeee."  
  
'You are an IDIOT!' Hermione screamed at herself. 'It's so obvious you're head over heals for the guy!'  
  
She looked around and realized that nearly everyone was trying to suppress their laughter.  
  
"Yeah," Hermione giggled, "I know I sounded like an idiot and I acknowledge that. Go ahead and laugh now, I think I'm just about used to everyone ridiculing me by now."  
  
With that, everyone burst out laughing.  
  
"This was exactly like this one scene in my favorite novel," Ginny gasped between giggles. "Mary Margaret Lily Jones and Guy River James Lee Park ran into each other at the same restaurant and it was just so funny and cute and you'd have to read it to know! They both stuttered and everything! Just like Hermione!"  
  
"Oh I've read it! Rushing Green Rivers by the Moonlight was so romantic! I loved that scene it was cute!" Mrs. Weasley agreed.  
  
"Are you talking about that book with the spunky dragon tamer and the handsome herbologist?" Tonks queried.  
  
The mother and daughter duo nodded.  
  
"Oh! It kills me to say it, but I love that book too!" Tonks admitted.  
  
"Do any of you know what they're talking about?" George asked.  
  
All the males shook their heads and turned to Hermione.  
  
"Hermione, what about you? It sounds like they're talking about a book, maybe you know?" Fred asked.  
  
Hermione closed her eyes and banged her head on the table once and left it resting there. "I do know," she answered. "But I really wish I didn't. And just to let you all know, just because I read a lot doesn't mean that I've read every book that exists!" She brought her head back up and said to the three chattering women, "You're all romance junkies, aren't you?"  
  
They nodded and continued to talk endlessly, every once in a while glancing over at Hermione and Harry.  
  
Keeping an eye on the "romance junkies," Harry leaned over to Hermione and said out of the corner of his mouth, "D'you know why they keep looking at us?"  
  
"Once again, I do know, but I really wish I didn't." Hermione groaned and began to continually bang her head against the table as she remembered how Ginny compared her love life the cheesy romance novel she was now discussing with Tonks and Mrs. Weasley.  
  
'Why do I have to like Harry? WHY?' Hermione inwardly whined.  
  
"Hey, Hermione?" Ron asked.  
  
"Yes, Ron?" Hermione barked. "What is it?"  
  
"Could you tone down your attack on the table?" Ron squeaked. He was thoroughly terrified of Hermione's rage. Harry's was bad enough, but Hermione's? "You're shaking everyone's plates." They all watched the salt shaker in front of Harry bounce its way over to the peppershaker and knock it over.  
  
"ARGH!" Needless to say, Hermione continued her assault on the table.  
  
End of Chapter!  
  
Disclaimer: I didn't make up any of these characters. Everyone was created J.K. Rowling; Harry, Ron, Hermione, the rest of the gang, and Harry Potter World belong to her, NOT me! If they did, I'd be rich, selling tons of books, and I wouldn't be writing this poor excuse of a fan fic that my brain pooped out.  
  
Well, that's it for the chapter! Sorry if you thought it sucked. I hope you enjoyed it, if you didn't, then don't talk to me! I have no idea where I'm going with the plot (I think I'll have some cheesy romance cliché happen between Harry and Hermione, like one of them falling over because they're "weak in the knees" or something), but if you've got any good suggestions, give a shout! I'm open to any ideas. Please review! But DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT if you have something mean to say! If I get good reviews, then maybe I'll do another chapter or two, I dunno. Oh, and CONSTRUCTIVE criticism, meaning the kind that is meant to help people, is okay too. Thanks!  
  
Over and out, this is "Mauled by squirrels" 


	2. CHAPTER TWO

Rushing Green Rivers by the Moonlight  
Chapter Two  
  
Weeks had passed since the day that Harry and Hermione had arrived at Grimauld Place. Various members of the Order came and went, always stopping for a little chat as Harry, Hermione, Ron, Ginny, Sirius, and Mrs. Weasley went around cleaning and exterminating various magical beasts hiding at the Black estate, finishing up homework, or playing quidditch (Hermione would stay on the ground and play her guitar or read). Everyone was trying desperately to get the soon-to-be couple to confess their feelings, and, of course, both were giving off reasons not to. Harry and Hermione went on embarrassing themselves (the dining table now had a very sizable dent in front of Hermione's usual chair, but nowhere near as large as the one by the kitchen's entrance where Harry first crashed on the night of his arrival). Mrs. Weasley, Ginny, and (whenever she was there) Tonks would go on secretly comparing Harry and Hermione to their favorite book, Rushing Green Rivers by the Moonlight. Now, on to the present.  
  
It was three days until Harry's sixteenth birthday. Everyone was cleaning out the house. Mr. Weasley, Mrs. Weasley, Ginny, Sirius, and Ron were all done cleaning their assigned parts of the house. Now, they were in the kitchen, waiting for Harry and Hermione, drinking butterbeers.  
  
"I wonder what's taking them so long," Mrs. Weasley said as she chopped some vegetables up for lunch.  
  
"Maybe they're making out in some closet." Ron laughed.  
  
Ginny snorted, Sirius chuckled, Mrs. Weasley grinned, and Mr. Weasley was too lost in reading a muggle technology magazine he found on the street to care.  
  
"And maybe they've gone and eloped too." Sirius asked. His voice was dripping with sarcasm.  
  
"You're right," Ron replied. "Who am I kidding?" he slapped his forehead. "We'd be lucky if they even held hands!"  
  
Ginny laughed. "I don't think any of us will be alive when they finally get together!" Ginny suddenly stopped suddenly and slowly turned to her mother.  
  
"That's exactly what Jerry, Mary Margaret Lily Jone's cousin, said after he let her and Guy out of that closet he 'accidentally' locked them in during Valentine McNolter's birthday party!" the mother and daughter duo shouted in unison.  
  
Ron and Sirius rolled their eyes at each other. What haven't they heard about Ginny and Mrs. Weasley's favorite book? Comparing Ginny, Mrs. Weasley, and the third romance junkie that wasn't present, Tonks, to Hermione, Rushing Green Rivers by the Moonlight was the Hogwarts: A History of the three romantics. Their obsession was even worse when Harry and Hermione were around; the two were the real deal Mary Margaret Lily Jones and Guy River James Lee Park.  
  
"I feel like a real ass for saying it, but personally, I hope they never get together."  
  
"Yeah, it's just too damn funny to watch them embarrass themselves because they won't come clean!"  
  
"Fred! George!" Mrs. Weasley said momentarily stopping her chopping to hug her sons. "Nice of you to drop by! I hope you'll both be staying for lunch!"  
  
"If the forever bumbling love birds will be there--" George began.  
  
"Then count us in!" Fred finished.  
  
Everyone was laughing and at that precise moment, they stopped as a very irritated Hermione trudged into the kitchen. She was covered with a thick green slime, little pieces of what looked like scaly skin, and what everyone in the room was sure were the innards of some sort of beast.  
  
"Hermione!" Mrs. Weasley and Ginny gasped.  
  
Mr. Weasley stopped reading in order to gape at the brown haired witch along with everyone else. Sirius choked on his drink while Ron did a classic spit take on his.  
  
Unfortunately, Ron's spit and drink managed to land on Hermione's already filthy body. "Thanks," she mumbled sarcastically.  
  
"WHAT HAPPENED?" they all shouted in unison.  
  
"A Kreachyport in the upstairs west wing bathroom I was cleaning. It was relatively small. I tried to get rid of it as best I could without making a mess.but that didn't work out as planned." Hermione answered in a monotone voice. "Don't worry, I didn't drip slime everywhere." She assured Mrs. Weasley. "This stuff is so thick it won't come off. Not even against a proper cleaning spell!"  
  
Everyone besides Mrs. Weasley laughed; Hermione seemed to be running into different creatures in the bathrooms lately. First the Shangrilisarra, then the Mitchencorper, the Hellonawper, and now the Kreachyport.  
  
"The cleanliness of the house is far less important than your well being dear!" Mrs. Weasley cried. She quickly walked over to Hermione, now in her usual chair at the table facing her dent. "Do you need anything?" placing a motherly hand on the young girl's shoulder. "Bandages, or perhaps a trip to St. Mungo's?"  
  
"I'm not hurt, but anything that can remove the insides of a four foot five inch shape shifter would be great, thanks," Hermione rejoindered sarcastically. Everyone laughed.  
  
"Don't worry, I know just the potion!" Mrs. Weasley walked over to some cabinets for ingredients. "It should be ready in about thirty minutes."  
  
"Thanks, Mrs. Weasley," Hermione responded gratefully.  
  
Everyone sat and chatted for a few minutes until none other than his friend and secret admirer, Hermione, brought up the subject of Harry's birthday.  
  
"Figures you'd remember, " Ron snickered.  
  
Hermione slapped him on the arm with a slimy hand. She was satisfied to see him cringe under her guts covered touch. "We should do something special for him." Hermione stated. "Not only is he our friend ("You're in love with him!" George coughed. He got the same treatment as Ron, also shrinking back from Hermione's slimy hand), but he's really been through a lot. Every year he's always pulled into these dangerous showdowns with Voldemort and his Death Eaters. It's more than anyone his age ever went through.  
  
"I know he'd think I'd be referring to him as some tragic little hero and hate me for it, but he's had so much sorrow in his life. He lost his parents, has spent the most of his life around relatives who despise him, he almost lost Sirius last year ("It was real luck that archway was broken." Sirius nodded), someone's always after his life, and not to mention all those screwy articles reporters write about him. Harry's seen so many terrible things. He deserves more happy memories." Hermione finished.  
  
No one laughed at this; they knew she was right. So, they began to plan for a birthday party.  
  
Meanwhile, upstairs in the Sirius's mini-library, Harry had fallen asleep in an armchair while cleaning.  
  
In Dreamland: Harry was walking through some bookcases in the larger dream version of Sirius's library. He had no idea what compelled him to do so, but he felt that if he didn't continue walking, he'd miss out something really, really big.  
  
As our raven-haired hero walked on, the library was changing into an outdoor area. It was nighttime, and the stars were shining brightly in the midnight blue sky that the library ceiling transformed into. The bookcases faded. A crescent moon was hanging over his head and there was music coming from some unknown source. A light breeze ruffled his hair. There was now grass under his feet and a few trees nearby and even a garden full of flowers and plants used for potions at the side of some house that was oddly familiar. he was in Sirius's front yard!  
  
'There's someone on the steps.' Harry thought.  
  
When he got closer, he realized that person was Hermione.  
  
"Hey you," Hermione greeted him sweetly with a smile and stood up. She was wearing a beautiful white gown with flowers in her hair in true dream fashion.  
  
Harry smiled back and eagerly ran the remaining distance and stopped in front of her.  
  
"I've been waiting." Dream Hermione went up to Harry and hugged him. Harry turned every shade of red (and even four that didn't exist until that moment) as he hugged her back.  
  
"Sorry to keep you," Harry replied breathlessly.  
  
"There's something I've got to tell you." Hermione, who was still embracing Harry, whispered in his ear. It sent chills down his spine.  
  
'This is it!' Harry thought joyously. His heart was really pumping now. 'I'm finally gonna kiss her.even if it is just a dream.' He looked into Hermione's eyes. 'She's so beautiful.but the one in real life looks even more amazing.'  
  
Their faces were inching closer and closer until their lips finally-  
  
"YES! YES! I GOT HIGH SCORES!"  
  
Harry was jolted awake in his armchair by the loud yell. He recognized the shriek as Hermione's voice, but it wasn't the one he was about to kiss. It was the real Hermione that had cried so rapturously. It was the real Hermione that had woken him up from his dream so suddenly.  
  
"GO ME-EE! GO ME-EE! GOOO MEEEEEEEEEE!"  
  
"Hermione, I like you, and maybe I think I LOVE you, but WHY THE HELL DID YOU CHOOSE TO YELL AND WAKE ME NOW?" Harry whined to the empty room. He got up from his chair and went downstairs to see what all the commotion was about.  
  
"My dream was just about to get really good for once!" Harry said to himself, thinking about all his previous dreams. 'None of them would ever compare to that dream,' Harry thought, 'Even if I did wake up before I could kiss her.'  
  
Disclaimer: I didn't make up any of these characters. Everyone was created J.K. Rowling; Harry, Ron, Hermione, the rest of the gang, and Harry Potter World belong to her, NOT me! If they did, I'd be rich, selling tons of books, and I wouldn't be writing this poor excuse of a fan fic that my brain pooped out.  
  
Well, that's it for the chapter! Sorry if you thought it sucked. I difficulty writing Harry's dream.I felt super dorky and stupid doing it, only 'cause it was my first time writing a little romance-ish type scene. I hope you enjoyed it, if you didn't, then don't talk to me! I have no idea where I'm going with the plot (I think I'll have some cheesy romance cliché happen between Harry and Hermione, like one of them falling over because they're "weak in the knees" or something), but if you've got any good suggestions, give a shout! I'm open to any ideas. Please review! But DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT if you have something mean to say! If I get good reviews, then maybe I'll do another chapter or two, I dunno. Oh, and CONSTRUCTIVE criticism, meaning the kind that is meant to help people, is okay too. Thanks!  
  
Over and out, this is "Mauled by squirrels" 


	3. CHAPTER THREE

Rushing Green Rivers by the Moonlight  
Chapter Three  
  
While Harry had been dreaming in the library, downstairs, a Hogwarts owl had come, bearing O.W.L. exam scores and school supplies lists. And of course, everyone gathered around the owl and opened up the messages.  
  
"Oh good job, Ronniekins!" Mrs. Weasley hugged Ron tightly when he opened the letter with his exam results and showed everyone (Ron had actually gotten scores that were higher than everyone expected, go figure).  
  
Fred, George, and Ginny sniggered at the Weasley matriarch's use of Ron's nickname. Mr. Weasley gave a small smile and Sirius and Hermione suppressed laughter.  
  
"Yes!" George shouted.  
  
"Wonderful, Ickle Ronniekins!" George continued.  
  
Hermione (still covered in slime and monster guts; Mrs. Weasley's potion was still working on loosening the grip the innards had on Hermione's body. When the slime started to drip onto the floor, they could just magic the mess away.) shook her head, smiling, as she watched Ron try to get his brothers to stop calling him the embarrassing nickname. She turned to her letter and checked how she did on her O.W.L.s. There was some sort of extra letter from the Department of Magical Knowledge branch in the Ministry of Magic, but she threw that aside in search of her grades. When she saw how she did she stopped breathing. Her eyes bugged out and she had quit moving. Shock over took Hermione's body and time seemed to stand still.  
  
Everyone began to notice and worry.  
  
"Hey, reckon someone ought to see if she still has a pulse?" Sirius whispered.  
  
Ron tip toed toward Hermione and waved a hand in front of her face. "Yoo hoo! Hermione? You in there?" He snapped his fingers in front of her eyes.  
  
Hermione mumbled something no one understood.  
  
"Face it," Fred said, shaking his head (that rhymes!).  
  
"The girl's not here anymore." George finished. Both were grinning.  
  
"Come on, Hermione," Ginny said. "What's up? Is it your scores?"  
  
"Yes, has the world finally come to an end and you've actually failed a test?" Ron chuckled.  
  
Silence was her only reply, until-  
  
"YES! YES! I GOT HIGH SCORES!" Hermione screeched at the top of her lungs jumping up and down rapidly, making everyone jump in surprise after her brief period of silence.  
  
"She's finally cracked!" Ron said.  
  
"No little bro," Fred commented, "she already did that ages ago."  
  
"GO ME-EE! GO ME-EE! GOOO MEEEEEEEEEE!" Hermione threw her exam scores in the air and started dancing. Mrs. Weasley's potion began to take effect since little bits of slime would be flung out in different directions as she danced.  
  
Sirius noticed the other letter from the Department of Magical Knowledge that Hermione had ignored. He picked it up and read it. "Well, congratulations, Hermione!" Sirius went over and gave the dancing girl a pat on the back as best he could (it was rather hard since she was dancing around the room so quickly). "You've just gotten the highest O.W.L. scores of the century!"  
  
"Oh congratulations, Hermione dear!" Mrs. Weasley said pulling her into a hug. Everyone took turns congratulating her; even Fred and George, who never really took the test all that seriously when they were her age.  
  
"WHAT? THEY'RE THAT HIGH?" Hermione screamed, pausing her little victory dance. She took the letter from Sirius and read. "OH.MY.GOD.. THANK YOU!" she sputtered. She then continued her dance with even more energy.  
  
Everyone laughed at the teenage girl's reaction.  
  
"Not surprising in the least." Ron pointed out, shaking his head. Everyone nodded in agreement.  
  
"What's not surprising?" said a voice from the doorway. It was Harry.  
  
"Hi, Harry!" Hermione yelled in mid-moon walk. She continued Michael Jackson's trademark move and went on to doing the robot, then, the electric slide, slipping in a few break dance moves now and then.  
  
"Hey, mate," Ron said and Harry went over to greet Fred and George. "Glad to see you didn't crash into the wall again." (You should get that if you read the previous chapters)  
  
"I'm never gonna live that down am I?" Harry responded.  
  
"You'd have to kill us to make us all forget!" George laughed.  
  
Harry feigned a thoughtful expression. "I wonder what spell I should use to bring about your guy's demise?"  
  
Ginny laughed. "Well, why don't you ask your lover-girl over there?"  
  
Harry blushed. "And why, pray tell?" he asked through gritted teeth, looking over at the dancing Hermione, praying that she didn't hear the youngest Weasley's comment.  
  
"Because she just got the highest O.W.L. scores of the century." Ron said.  
  
"Really?" Harry said.  
  
"Yup!" Hermione had said from behind Harry. She handed his scores over. "These are your results, don't worry, we didn't look at them.yet."  
  
Harry took the letter. "Congratulations, Hermione!" Harry told her, resisting the urge to hold her.  
  
"Thanks!"  
  
Harry then turned his attention towards the envelope in his hand. His palms got all sweaty all of a sudden. 'What if I didn't do so well?' he thought.  
  
Hermione, sensing Harry's nervousness, stopped dancing and placed a hand on Harry's shoulder. This calmed the boy down very much (I wonder why?). "Don't worry Harry, I'm sure you did great!" she insisted  
  
"Yeah!" Sirius added supporting his godson. "And that was coming from the smartest witch of the century!" Everyone chuckled.  
  
"Besides, Ron passed, so you can't have done that bad!" Hermione chuckled.  
  
"Hey!" Ron shouted over everyone's laughter.  
  
Harry looked into Hermione's golden brown eyes. She flashed him a reassuring smile. "Go on," she said gently. "You're gonna have to look sometime."  
  
Harry nodded, tightly shut his eyes, and tore the envelope open. He took a peek at the paper and-presto! Harry had great scores.  
  
"Well, I'm no Hermione Granger, but." He showed everyone his results. They were better than Ron's, but they weren't as great as Hermione's scores. Still, he did a great job. Harry was very pleased with himself. Especially since he soon found himself in Hermione's embrace.  
  
"Oh, Harry, see!" Hermione gave him a one armed hug. "You did fantastic!"  
  
Harry blushed. 'A kiss would've been better' he thought, just a bit disappointed. Only a bit you see, because it was then that he noticed Hermione's appearance.  
  
"You were in a bathroom when that happened weren't you?" Harry spoke as he looked over her slimy appearance.  
  
"It sure took you long enough to notice." Hermione giggled.  
  
"What was it this time?" he asked.  
  
"A Kreachyport!" Hermione answered cheerfully. "Uh oh! I got entrails on you!" Hermione reached over and picked off what appeared to be intestines on Harry's shirt.  
  
"What is it with you and bathrooms?" Harry questioned his crush.  
  
"Oh, you know what a thrill seeker I am," Hermione replied sarcastically. "Want excitement, head for the nearest lavatory!"  
  
"Well." Harry reached over to a napkin holder on the table and pulled one out and handed it over to Hermione. "This is a present, congratulating you on your excellent performance on your O.W.L. exams. And also because you look like the thing you just blew up!"  
  
Everyone just watched the two's little banter, grinning, suppressing laughter, or, in Mrs. Weasley and Ginny's case, whispering about how the scene was incredibly like something out of their favorite romance novel, Rushing Green Rivers by the Moonlight.  
  
"Oh, " Hermione said sarcastically, "It's just what I've always wanted!"  
  
"I do my best to please." Harry smiled.  
  
'Then why the hell didn't you kiss me?' Hermione thought. Then she got a very brilliant idea. 'Hmm.Mrs. Weasley's potion should be in full effect now, meaning I can practically wipe all this stuff off in one try.Better do this now or else I'll chicken out.' Hermione took a step towards Harry. All of a sudden, she went very red, but you couldn't see that through the slime on her face.  
  
'Crap. She's got that look in her eye. The one she gets when she's planning something.' Harry thought.  
  
Everyone who was watching the two all gasped. It looked like the slime covered Hermione was going to make a move on Harry!  
  
Hermione came closer and closer. She stood in front of Harry on her tiptoes. Soon enough her face was inches form Harry's. Harry was frozen stiff.  
  
"And I've got something for you too, Harry," she purred in his ear.  
  
"Y-you do?" Harry stammered. Albeit, the girl was covered in slime, but she was making Harry very nervous and very, very excited.  
  
"Yes, Harry." Hermione answered.  
  
Everyone held their breaths. Sirius and Ron were silently cheering the two on, Fred and George were starting to mourn the death of one of their favorite sources of entertainment (you should get this if you read the last chapter), Mr. Weasley was smiling, and Mrs. Weasley and Ginny were trying very hard to keep themselves from gushing about the duo and their favorite book again.  
  
Harry's breathing got faster, as well as his heart rate. Hermione's face was just centimeters from his. It looked like she was going to kiss him!  
  
'My dream!' Harry screamed in his head. 'Oh, YES! I'm gonna kiss her! I'm gonna-'  
  
Too bad she didn't. Instead of kissing her crush, Hermione turned her face and made it so her slime-covered cheek was against Harry's nice and clean one. Their faces met with a sickening "squelch". Hermione then hugged Harry very tightly, which of course made the young man blush even harder than he did in the last chapter inventing five new interesting shades of red. Then, she let him go. She stepped back to admire her work, sporting possibly the largest grin ever to grace mankind.  
  
Harry now had a look of surprise on his face. He was expecting her to kiss him, not cover him with slime! Harry looked like Christmas tree, his face was red and Hermione had transferred the slim on the front of her body to Harry's!  
  
The room was totally silent. And then, Hermione, along with the group of spectators began to laugh. When Harry got over the initial shock of being slimed the way he was, he began to laugh as well despite his disappointment at not getting a smooch.  
  
"Hahaha! I sure hope you don't have anything for me!" Ron laughed.  
  
"Oh but I do!" Hermione exclaimed. She ran a hand through her hair and got a hand full of slime that was immediately squished into Ron's face.  
  
"We thought you were going to make out with the boy, Hermione!" Ginny chimed in. "Not use him as a human napkin!"  
  
Fred and George were doubled over, laughing and giving praise to God for not letting Harry and Hermione confess their feelings yet.  
  
"Why would I do such a thing with you guys around?" Hermione laughed.  
  
"Oh, so you do want to kiss me, huh?" Harry chuckled, a tiny ray of hope shining on his heart. He also wanted the attention off of him and on to someone else.  
  
'CRAP!' Hermione thought, panicking, her grin quickly fading. 'Why did you let that sound the way it did? If he find out that's true.' she scolded herself. Hermione's grin soon returned though when she found an excuse.  
  
"Harry," she said putting a hand on his shoulder. "I know you find me irresistible, but how can you expect anyone to kiss you when you're all covered with the innards of some creature from the toilet?"  
  
"You're one to talk!" Harry shot back. 'And the funny thing is I do think you're irresistible, even now.' He added mentally. "You were the first one covered in gut in the first place!"  
  
Hermione laughed a bit more before saying, "Look we should probably get cleaned off."  
  
"You couldn't be more right, Slimy." Harry sneered.  
  
"Come on you two." Ron chuckled as he followed his friends upstairs. He and Harry went to take turns using their bathroom and Hermione went off to hers and Ginny's. But she didn't separate from her friends before getting a "Watch out for another monster in the toilet!"  
  
Downstairs:  
  
"I bet you anything Harry and Hermione would both have a heart attack if they found out the stuff they said about each other was true. That Hermione would like to kiss Harry and that Harry did find Hermione irresistible."  
  
"That's a stupid bet, George! Of course they would have heart attacks!"  
  
"My little godson's growing up so fast!"  
  
"Well, back to my magazine.This article on muggle cumputdor things is really fascinating."  
  
"It's just like in Rushing Green Rivers by the Moonlight!"  
  
End Chapter.  
  
Disclaimer: I didn't make up any of these characters. Everyone was created J.K. Rowling; Harry, Ron, Hermione, the rest of the gang, and Harry Potter World belong to her, NOT me! If they did, I'd be rich, selling tons of books, and I wouldn't be writing this poor excuse of a fan fic that my brain pooped out.  
  
Well, that's it for the chapter! Sorry if you thought it sucked. In case you don't know what a "cumputdor thing" is it's supposed to be computer. Yes, that was Mr. Weasley talking if you haven't guessed by now. I hope you enjoyed it, if you didn't, then don't talk to me! I have no idea where I'm going with the plot (I think I'll have some cheesy romance cliché happen between Harry and Hermione, like one of them falling over because they're "weak in the knees" or something), but if you've got any good suggestions, give a shout! I'm open to any ideas. Please review! But DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT if you have something mean to say! If I get good reviews, then maybe I'll do another chapter or two, I dunno. Oh, and CONSTRUCTIVE criticism, meaning the kind that is meant to help people, is okay too. Thanks!  
  
Over and out, this is "Mauled by squirrels" 


	4. CHAPTER FOURa cry for help

Rushing Green Rivers by the Moonlight  
Chapter Four  
  
It was the day of Harry's sixteenth birthday, and Harry was going into London to go buy school supplies with Hermione, Ron, Ginny, Tonks, Lupin, and Mrs. Weasley. Sirius couldn't go because of the whole escaped convict thing..and, well, you know the story. Anyway, after greeting Harry "Happy Birthday!" and giving hugs and slaps on the back, they were all sitting down in the kitchen having breakfast when, BAM! Something brown crashed through the window and into an open cabinet.  
  
"Oh my gosh!" Ginny screeched. "What was that?"  
  
Mrs. Weasley ordered all the kids to keep seated while Tonks, Sirius, and Lupin went to investigate.  
  
"Wow, Herms," Harry whispered, grinning. "Looks like your bad luck with bathrooms followed you to the kitchen."  
  
Those still at the table suppressed peals of laughter.  
  
Hermione returned the grin and said, "You know you're really lucky that Sirius, Tonks, Lupin, and everybody is here, otherwise..I'd probably hex you until you turned into a female version of Snape. But for now, I'll settle for saying this: Go run into a wall again!"  
  
"Go get covered in some toilet sucking monster's innards!"  
  
"I hate you!" Hermione giggled.  
  
"You've said that so many times, I don't even believe you," Harry snorted. "Not that I ever did." Harry flashed what he called an "innocent smile."  
  
Hermione stuck her tongue out. Everyone just watched the cute little banter, grinning like mad without Harry or Hermione ever noticing. As always, Mrs. Weasley and Ginny were starting off on one of their "Rushing Green Rivers by the Moonlight" conversations that everyone soon learned to tune out.  
  
"You know, if you did that to Harry, Hermione, he would probably end up looking like the man-version Snape." Sirius snickered as he, Lupin, and Tonks (who immediately joined in on Ginny and Mrs. Weasley's book-Harry- Hermione talk) sat down. But not before plopping a brown mass of feathers and a newspaper on the table.  
  
"Oh no! The poor thing!" Hermione and Ginny squealed in unison. Apparently, their high pitched squealing got to the owl and it soon propped itself back up with a pitcher of orange juice and stuck its leg out for money for the Daily Prophet.  
  
"It looks like it's got my newspaper!" Hermione exclaimed as she got up to get a closer look. She paid the owl and took the newspaper from its beak. The rumpled owl hooted in thanks and took off.  
  
Hermione unfurled the newspaper and scanned the front page before quickly crumpling it. She then began to (again) bang her head into the table.  
  
"What? Was the library at school burned down?" Ron asked, chuckling.  
  
"Did Rita Skeeter make a come back and write some lie about how you're going to get married to Malfoy?" Harry continued. He knew what he just said was blasphemous, but he wanted to get his crush riled. 'She's so cute when she's like that.' He thought.  
  
"Did they stop making copies of 'Hogwarts: a History'?" Ginny joined in.  
  
"To Ron's question: Do you really think I'd be here if it did? To Ginny's question: THANK GOD NO! I'm still waiting for the 50 year special edition to come out!" Hermione replied when she ceased her assault on the table. She then turned to Harry and took a deep breath.  
  
"And last but not least, Harry's question: THERE'S A BETTER CHANCE OF YOU CATCHING ME SNOGGING WITH A BLAST-ENDED SKREWT IN FILCH'S BROOM CLOSET THAN ME EVER MARRYING THAT SLIMY, LOATHSOME, PRETENTIOUS LITTLE BERK! WHAT YOU JUST SAID QUALIFIES AS BLASPHOMY AND I OUGHT TO HEX YOU ALL THE WAY BACK TO THE BLOODY DARK AGES FOR IT! AND WHAT'S MORE, IF HELL ACTUALLY DID FREEZE OVER AND I SOMEHOW LITERALLY LOST MY BRAIN OR WAS BEING THREATENED WITH ONE OF THE UNFORGIVABLE CURSES AND DID MARRY MALFOY, I WOULD NEVER EVER EVER LET ANYONE KNOW ABOUT IT! EVER!"  
  
Everyone laughed at her sudden explosion. It was very entertaining to see her rant about something all in one breath.  
  
"You must really want me to kill you Harry," Hermione shook her head after catching her breath. 'If I were to marry you, I'd let Rita Skeeter write whatever she wanted to about me.' She inwardly confessed.  
  
"So what is it?" Harry queried. "It can't be that bad can it? Not Voldemort bad right?" Harry turned very serious.  
  
"DON'T SAY HIS NAME!" the Weasleys all hissed.  
  
"No, it's just something really embarrassing," Hermione blurted before she could stop herself. "No! I shouldn't have said that!"  
  
"In that case.." Harry looked to Ron. Ron nodded. "QUICK, RON! INITIATE MANUEVER 27!" Quickly, Harry tickled Hermione and Ron stole the crumpled newspaper. 'I've been wanting to pull that one on Hermione for a while now.' Harry inwardly blushed; looks like our young hero will look for any excuse to touch our little brainiac.  
  
"NOOOO!" Hermione yelled, arms outstretched reaching for the paper.  
  
"What do we have here," said Ron. Everyone gathered around him to see what Hermione had tried to hide.  
  
"You're in the papers, Hermione!" Mrs. Weasley exclaimed.  
  
"Yeah, well. I guess people are making a big deal about my O.W.L. exams," a bushing Hermione muttered.  
  
"Listen to this headline!" shouted Ginny. "Harry Potter's Girlfriend Gets the Highest O.W.L. Scores of the Century!"  
  
Hermione blushed a darker red and turned to an equally red Harry. "Look, sorry if you're mad, but you gotta believe me when I say I never said I was your girlfriend!" 'Though I wish I was your girlfriend.'  
  
"Yeah, Herms, I believe you." Harry assured her. 'Though I wish you were my girlfriend.' He felt rather awful though, thinking that his best female friend didn't like him as more than a friend. Oh how wrong you are Harry...  
  
"Wow, you got higher scores than Dumbledore did and this Tom Riddle character did when they were your age!" Mrs. Weasley said.  
  
"Voldemort," Hermione, Harry, and Ron whispered. Everyone turned their heads in their direction.  
  
"What?" Mrs. Weasley asked, obviously confused.  
  
"Tom Riddle, mum!" Ron yelled. "He's You-Know-Who!"  
  
"Yeah! Remember my first year at Hogwarts!" Ginny piped up.  
  
"Oh my!"  
  
Ron then turned to Hermione. "Wow, you think he's pissed at you?" Ron whispered. She could sense the underlying fear.  
  
"Umm." Hermione began, but Harry cut her off, obviously getting a little over protective.  
  
"Ron! Nothing is going to happen to Hermione! Not while I'm here!" Harry burst. "She's going to be safe." He put an arm around her shoulder.  
  
"Err. yeah, heh-heh. Riiiiight, while you're hear, heh-heh." Hermione sputtered. She was trying real hard to get her brain working again. Wait..wait for it..just a few more seconds..Ahh..there we are. It's working again. Okay! "I wouldn't think to much about it. Voldemort's probably too busy to worry about getting revenge on some little ol' witch beating his O.W.L. scores from a million years ago."  
  
"I don't know." Lupin said. "They make it seem like you and Harry are pretty tight. What if they decide to use you as bait to get to Harry."  
  
"They make it sound like you're getting married as well as a full fledged genius." Sirius agreed.  
  
Trying to reassure herself and to lighten the mood, Hermione countered with, "Well, I'm not planning to get married anytime soon, but the genius thing rings pretty close to the truth.  
  
"Besides." Hermione took the newspaper and scanned it. "They correct the headline later on in the article. 'Harry Potter's best friend.' Since I don't think Voldemort and his Death Eaters don't quite understand the subject of friendship so. maybe they'll just forget about me."  
  
THIS IS A PLEA FOR HELP! I MEAN IT! THIS IS ONLY PART OF CHAPTER FOUR! I AM OUT OF IDEAS.....WELL, I HAVE THEM, BUT I CAN'T EXACTLY FIND A WAY TO MAKE THEM FIT! I NEED A TRANSITION FROM GRIMAULD PLACE TO DIAGON ALLY. I HAVE IDEAS FOR THE ALLY BUT NONE OF MY IDEAS FOR THE IN BETWEEN PART FITS! ONCE AGAIN, IF ANYONE CARES, I NEED HELP FOR MY SEVERE WRITER'S BLOCK! WHAAAA! I'M CRYIN' LIKE A BABY HERE! AND ANYONE WHO KNOWS ME KNOWS THAT I MUST REALLY NEED HELP DESPERATELY TO INADVERTANTLY ATTEMPT TO DROWN MYSELF IN TEARS! ANY IDEAS, STICK 'EM IN THE REVIEWS!!!!!!! PLEASE!!!!!!!!! I BEG OF YOU!!!!!!!!!  
  
(NOTE: if I ever get out of this creativity rut, I might delete what is written in this lacking fourth chapter) 


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